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The cows work better than the weather man

September 7, 2009


For the past few days, it has been threatening to rain.  Or at least I thought so; all of the people from around here were all like “no it isn’t, look at the cows.”  Um, nice cows?

“No, no,” the Midwesterners explain to me, “the cows will lay down when it is going to rain.”

Why?  Well, because for some reason, their legs are a microporous structure – meaning that they will absorb microscopic molecules of water.  Meaning that when it is about to rain, and it gets humid, the cows legs soften up from the water to the point where they cannot support the weight of poor ol’ Bessie anymore, and she has to lay down.

What is the point of this?  I have no idea.  I mean, what’s the point of being able to predict rain if you can’t even get out of the way of it?

Nature is weird.


I have been learning lots of other things in Missouri too; this is a “Gator” made by John Deere (AKA overcommercialized celebrity of the midwest.  Really.  He even has socks.  And fruit snacks.)


and this one is a “Mule” by Kawasaki – and I had better not call them tractors or – God forbid – golf carts because they aren’t.


Neither is this – it’s a steamroller.


Oh, and when someone asks you if you have ever had rocky mountain oysters, the correct answer is not “I don’t like seafood”.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. September 7, 2009 9:19 pm

    I used to work at a farm where they would use a gator to turn horses out. Several kids would sit in the back, holding the lines to several horses and the driver would speed off. Sometimes kids would be pulled out of the back by a reluctant horse, but usually the horses would just trot off after it.
    At first I was like, “omgwtfNO” and only used the gator to haul hay and feed out to all the paddocks, and I always told the kids to buzz off because they were a hindrance to me.. but one fine morning I was in a hurry and I decided that I too could turn horses out using the gator!!

    I stupidly got the 3 year old TB/Percheron cross, jumped into the gator (ours didn’t have a roof) and slowly started off. A dreaded horse killing wind suddenly blew a vicious napkin across the path, and that horse jumped INTO the gator with me. As I clawed my way out, I had visions of her breaking her legs and her owner enslaving me at the barn for life.

    She ended up being fine, but I never used the freaking gator for turn out anymore, and I was forever in horror of the people who did.
    they’d let pretty much anyone drive it too, and people were always running through the hot-tape fence!! It.. was not a well run place, and I didn’t work there long because I couldn’t take the daily wtf’ery.
    Beware the gator!

    • September 8, 2009 12:48 pm

      Ooh. that would be scary – and not just the almost being crushed by a part draft bit; I think I would be more afraid of the owner’s wrath!

      Trust your instincts!

  2. September 7, 2009 11:44 pm

    Weird about the cows! Interesting though…I’ll have to pay attention from now on. Even though I’m from the NW, I knew about the Rocky Mtn. Oyster thing…think Pioneer Woman taught me. Have you been to her site? She’s a hoot & I bet you could relate to some of the stuff she writes about! She’s in OK…

    • September 8, 2009 12:46 pm

      Thanks for the link! I just looked and her site is very funny (but also informative!).

      I’m going to have to watch the cows as well…I still don’t completely believe that they can predict rain.

  3. lovemytb permalink
    September 8, 2009 9:45 am

    Gators are awesome! Unless, of course, the pre-teen driver takes a corner too fast and tips the Gator over on top of you, flattening a large area of rare prairie grasses.

    • September 8, 2009 12:50 pm

      Hmmm…sounds like someone might have had a bit of bad experience :)

      Although I can’t say I would be too concerned about rare prairie grasses if I had a Gator on top of me

  4. September 8, 2009 4:54 pm

    what you didn’t know about the cows??
    my dad uses cows to predict whether i’ll have a good ride or not, and most of the time its pretty accurate :D

    • September 9, 2009 1:38 pm

      Nope, they didn’t have cows where I live/d. Though I am now planning on watching them and pretending that I know more than the meteorologist whenever it is going to rain.

  5. September 14, 2009 8:04 pm

    Trust the horse-eating cows. Laugh at our over priced, bovine growth hormone-styled golf cart.

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